Yeah, that’s me…Voivode Kohoutek. I’m the master of the Dungeonsports Coliseum. My goddess Verasundia, granted me the power to run this place. She feeds on shame, and this is her temple. I attract the finest heroes from across reality here with prizes and glory, so they can be shamed, humiliated and killed. Verasundia gets the shame and I get the souls to keep the Astral Shieldbeast and the Coliseum complex operation. Yeah, they eat souls.
So you’re like, “Hey Voivode, why would you write all this down? Isn’t it going to scare contestants away?” And i’m like, nah it’s cool. Most of them can’t read. I’m looking at you barbarians. The one’s who can will just view this as a challenge to their prowess, because they’re sure there smarter and more powerful than me. That was for all my wizards out there. Come at me. You can take me. You’re so powerful! See, it’s just like the Waterdhavian Prince scam. I want to screen out the ones who are smart enough not to come. I don’t need smart souls. They keep the Shieldbeast alive regardless of how foolish they are.
Anyways, the coliseum is just chock full of riches and glory, but you’re gonna need to find a way in. Come out and join us in the stands on Twitch. Cheer for the deaths of the illiterate and the overconfident. In no time you’ll have enough channel points to get into the Coliseum!
Yours in Fantasy Blood-sports,
Voivode Kohoutek
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